he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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