Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize