Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
