ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
