Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
