K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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