clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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