dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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