i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize