well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
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The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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