I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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