A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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