five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if only i could text you this smell
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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