Moan for me like Helen Keller
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
