i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
