Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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