This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
