i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
