i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
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Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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