Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
