Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
In America we eat man semen.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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