Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize