It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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