I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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