Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
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You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
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I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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