I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
