I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
