therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
