you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
