please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
