Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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