So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
