i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do