remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
