I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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