So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
