Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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