Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
