he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
