i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
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