This dress was meant to end up on your floor
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
