i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
