I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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