The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
