I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
