this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
