Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
