so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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