I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
