I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I intend to get homeless drunk
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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