yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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