11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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