when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
